This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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