They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
