new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
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I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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