he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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