I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
