Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i've created a new STD.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
