bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize