So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize