Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize