just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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