She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
