so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
