I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
