I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
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If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
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are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Are these your boobs on my camera?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize