There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Dignity is for republicans.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
