I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
