and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
