I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize