at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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