how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
