it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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