Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
