I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
