If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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