Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
