Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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