I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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