This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
