i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
This baby is an asshole
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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