Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
