bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
