the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
