Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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