i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
