Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
