Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
you will always have a special place in my vag
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Edward fifth and chaser hands
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
