O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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