well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
