Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
True college students do jello shots in the library
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
