Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
