I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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