just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize