you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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