why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
