Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
