dude i'm inner monologue high
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It's blow job season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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