When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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