Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I enjoy the company of your penis
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
