Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
