Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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