I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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