Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i drank out of a bidet.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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