i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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