I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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