when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
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