I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
