I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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