How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
