Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
