i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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