I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize
