Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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