New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
