So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
