I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
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