Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I got inside last night via doggy door
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
