is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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