You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
