Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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