What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
