can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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