YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
