It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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