Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize
